Why ‘Ready Player One’ Was One Of 2018’s Worst Movies

Why ‘Ready Player One’ Was One Of 2018's Worst Movies
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Right now, all the good critics are focused on dissecting the absolute best movies of the year. That leaves us with the un-flushed turds. Here's one! Ready Player One is the movie that answers the question of what The Matrix would look like if it took place inside a Hot Topic. Based on the popular, equally terrible novel, this is probably Steven Spielberg's worst movie. But hey, it's still a Spielberg film, right? That's like being the least attractive Hemsworth brother. So, why was Ready Player One the Luke Hemsworth of the Spielberg catalog? Let's find out ...

The World Makes No Goddamn Sense

Ready Player One takes place in the year 2045, and humanity is addicted to a shared virtual reality known as OASIS, which is chock-full of references to movies like Jurassic Park and video games like Minecraft. But bizarrely, there's nothing new. Really? There are no iconic pieces of entertainment made between now and 2045? That's 27 years! That's like living in a 2018 where no one references any pop culture from before 1991. To put things in perspective, our main character races around in a digital DeLorean from 1985's Back To The Future. That'd be like if today's gamers were modding their avatars to look like Buddy Holly and the Big Bopper.

Warner Bros. Pictures

The real suspension of disbelief is that in 27 years, no one will remake that movie and sour the brand.

Even more confusing than the culture of this world is the technology of this game. At one point our hero, Wade, upgrades to a full-body suit and then goes dancing at a virtual nightclub. So how is he doing this? He's not holding a controller, and the suit doesn't plug into your cerebral cortex. Wade is sitting in the back of a filthy van, but in the game, he's somehow able to go full Saturday Night Fever.

The suit also allows users to feel things, like a rumble pack for cyber-groping. But most insanely, shelling out the big bucks for one of these fancy rigs also means that if you get kicked in the balls in the game, the suit will simulate that agony in real life.

Warner Bros. Pictures
Warner Bros. Pictures

Why ‘Ready Player One’ Was One Of 2018's Worst Movies

Right now, all the good critics are focused on dissecting the absolute best movies of the year. That leaves us with the un-flushed turds. Here’s one! Ready Player One is the movie that answers the question of what The Matrix would look like if it took place inside a Hot Topic. Based on the popular, equally terrible novel, this is probably Steven Spielberg’s worst movie. But hey, it’s still a Spielberg film, right? That’s like being the least attractive Hemsworth brother. So, why was Ready Player One the Luke Hemsworth of the Spielberg catalog? Let’s find out … The World Makes No Goddamn Sense Ready Player One takes place in the year 2045, and humanity is addicted to a […]

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